Economics and Cows...

I just got this from my Mother-In-Law (bizarrely enough), and thought it could inject a little humour into the otherwise dire economic news...

> > SOCIALISM
> > You have 2 cows.
> > You give one to your neighbour.
> > 
> > COMMUNISM
> > You have 2 cows.
> > The State takes both and gives you some milk.
> > 
> > FASCISM
> > You have 2 cows.
> > The State takes both and sells you some milk.
> > 
> > NAZISM
> > You have 2 cows.
> > The State takes both and shoots you.
> > 
> > BUREAUCRATISM
> > You have 2 cows.
> > The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the
> > milk away...
> > 
> > TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
> > You have two cows.
> > You sell one and buy a bull.
> > Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
> > You sell them and retire on the income.
> > 
> > SURREALISM
> > You have two giraffes.
> > The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
> > 
> > AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
> > Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
> > 
> > ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
> > You have two cows.
> > You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters
> > of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
> > debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all
> > four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
> > The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to
> > a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who
> > sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
> > The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on
> one more.
> > You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving
> > you with nine cows.
> > No balance sheet provided with the release.
> > The public then buys your bull.
> > 
> > A FRENCH CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you
> > want three cows.
> > 
> > A JAPANESE CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
> > and produce twenty times the milk.
> > You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and
> > market it worldwide.
> > 
> > A GERMAN CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
> > milk themselves.
> > 
> > AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
> > You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
> > You decide to have lunch.
> > 
> > A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > You count them and learn you have five cows.
> > You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
> > You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
> > You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
> > 
> > A SWISS CORPORATION
> > You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
> > You charge the owners for storing them.
> > 
> > A CHINESE CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > You have 300 people milking them.
> > You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
> > You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

> > AN INDIAN CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > You worship them.

> > A BRITISH CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > Both are mad.

> > AN IRAQI CORPORATION
> > Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
> > You tell them that you have none.
> > No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your
> country.
> > You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a
> Democracy....

> > AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > Business seems pretty good.
> > You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

> > A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
> > You have two cows.
> > The one on the left looks very attractive